21 Weeks......It's a..........................

GIRL!!!!!!

It's been a while.  Time has been going by so quickly.  We found out at 18 weeks.  The same week we cancelled our vacation because my mom was in ICU for a week.  The same week my first baby turned 9.  The same week that football/karate/cheer practice started.  The same week that we had to do all of the last minute back to school shopping.  The same week we decided to build a new room so that the baby can have her own room.  The same week my husband's job went under due to bankruptcy. 

It's been quite a rough time but, we are moving on.  Thankfully mom is finally better, the kids are doing great in school, and our business (which was not a priority when my husband was working) is now on the road to success. 

I started shopping for our little girl the day we found out we are Team Pink!  I've bought a Britax stroller/bassinet.  I'm going to get her car sear (Britax Chaperon) and diaper bag (I'm thinking a Ju Ju Be B.F.F. in Shadow Waltz) in  the next few days.  I've found someone local-ish that makes amazing crib sets but, I can't get ahold of her!  I'll keep trying.  Still haven't picked out her furniture.  First things first, we need to finish the new room so we can move the kids around.

So many things going on but, life is perfect!!  :)

11 WEEKS!!!!

I can now confidently say that I'm pregnant!  I had an episode of spotting at 7 weeks which lead to an ultrasound which showed a healthy heartbeat.  After that I was given my next appointment at 11 weeks.  That was Tuesday, and we heard the heartbeat with a Doppler!  165 bpm.  I'm now pretty sure that this is a forever baby.  I've bought my first pieces of maternity and when I went in the store I felt confident about it.  Pregnancy after a miscarriage is emotionally hard but it makes me appreciate my children that much more.  I'm not like everyone else in my family that seems to pop out a kid 9 months after they start trying but, eventually we get there.  And I couldn't be happier.

Good Beta's!!!

5/15/12- 132
5/17/12- 483!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am very confident that this time my postitve numberw will result in a cuddly baby come early 2013.  At my appointment with the ob (a new one that can do a sono each time) he did a vaginal sonogram and was not able to see much.  He said it looked good.  What he showed me was "a tear drop area where the pregnancy is starting to develop."  I nodded and tried to hide my dissapointment at not being able to see a heartbeat.  But, the reality is that  I am only about 4-5 weeks along.  I have another appointment next Friday to see if we can determine a due date.  I am over the moon and I am staying poitive.  I WILL HOLD MY BABY IN ABOUT 8 MONTHS :)

Mothers Day

I am possibly, probably, hopefully pregnant.  After trying for a year I finally got my positive today.  I got a very faint + on a cheapie test on Thursday but, I figured it was just a typical false positive.  I've gotten plenty of those.  Today I have gotten several clear positives as well as a positive digital.  I am cautiously happy.  Honestly I am beyond excited and I want to tell my mom, his mom, and of coarse my husband.  But, I can't.  I have done this twice before so I know that a positive test does not always mean a baby in 8 months.  I cannot bear to break my husbands heart again.  And the moms are so dense.  Sometimes I wonder when they lost their sensitivity chip.  Throughout the miscarriages they were awful.  Not on purpose but the were so clueless.  Neither one of them got what I was going through even though they themselves have been through it before.  So, I will wait until I am showing probably.  At least until I see my baby on an ultrasound and hear that amazing sound that is my baby's heartbeat.  Dear God please help me, help my baby.  I want nothing more than to hold my precious baby in December/January.  I know that it is not fair to keep it from my husband but, he has been hurt just as badly if not worse then me in the past.  He is such a great father and the second he sees the + he is in love and making plans.  I've seen my husband cry two times.  Both last year.  The first was the day we found out we had lost the baby and the second was the day he rushed home because I was going through the miscarriage (2 weeks AFTER the d&c!!!!!!).  I was in so much pain and I had no idea what was happening.  I called him and he rushed home in tears.  I love him so mush and I can't hurt him again.  So I will pray, and pray, and pray, and pray some more.  Please god, please let me have a healthy, perfect, beautiful baby in my arms again.  I wish I didn't have to go through all of this but, I know it will all be worth it in the end.  Right?  Right.

Happy Mother's Day to me!  I will be so special to me this year.  I have to go through this day by day and in December I won't even remember the fear I had of losing my baby.  One can only hope...................

cd 6

I had a very long cycle this month. 45 days I think. Soooo, I decided to try this "miracle worker" stuff named fer.tle.aid. Lets see what I do to myself with this stuff. Hopefully a month from now I'm singing the praises of this magic potion.

Post Holiday Slump

I got my period on 1/4, so today is......cd10. I don't know what's going on but I have no desire to have sex. Maybe it's because of all the weight I've gained?? I don't know. I was thisclose to going to the dr. to get some adipex but, I cancelled. I'm going to try to lose this on my own the good old trusty way, hitting the treadmill. Hopefully I'll get pregnant this month or next. If on March 1st I'm still not, then I'll go get me some magic potion from dr. miracle worker.

I have no libido and no energy. I've been looking into supplements, maybe I need to start taking iron? It's worth a try. I'm going to bet some iron and b12. Maybe that will do the trick...........

Another year, another fb pregnancy anouncement.

Not mine of coarse One of his ex girlfriends. It was an unplanned pregnancy. Bitch. But, I'm happy for her. Of coarse I am.

I have many big plans for 2012. Honestly, a baby isn't one I'm counting on anymore. I want to finish the fence, and buy a backhoe, and start the house, buy a work truck and a personal truck. It all involves lots of $$$$. It means a lot of work on my part but, I'm ready for it. Out with the old and in with the new!

Here's to making my dreams come true :)