I won't go through this again.............

Been there done that. Why am I going here again? I've POAS every other day this week. They were all BIG FAT NEGATIVES.

I have 2 beautiful kids to keep me going, I need to think about them. My present and definite future. No more wishful thinking, daydreams, and spending $50 a week on pregnancy tests!

I've kept it all to myself. He doesn't know about how much I've been wishing on stars and everything else I can think of for a baby. I don't want to put us through the anguish of the past. I just have to remind myself of how much it affected us. Only this time it will be worse because we have two innocent children that will unfairly be dragged along. And they don't deserve that. They need to be my #1 right now.

So.........instead of sitting in front of my computer googling IF and Mirena, I'm going to take my kids out. Who knows where we'll go but we'll be together ;)

April 27, 2011

The spring storms are pretty strong this year. It means we're thismuchcloser to moving out to Aquilla. Easter was fun. We went to my cousin's house. I have a feeling I'm pregnant but, that might just be me wanting to be pregnant. I POAS yesterday and got a BFN but, it was only CD19.

Still Here

I'm trying to move on. I still remember my baby every day and I still think about how far along I should be and how big my belly would be. It's hard, especially when everywhere I turn there's a pregnant woman. We aren't using any protection but, I doubt I'll get pregnant anytime soon. My period this month was just spotting. I never had to use a pad. We'll see what happens next month.

Storms are finally here so that means business is good. It looks like we'll be able to move out to Aquilla by summer. We'll spend summertime in Aquilla which will be great. There will be lots of room for us to enjoy the long days. The kids will start school in Aquillla com fall.

Baseball season is in full swing and both kids are playing which means my schedule is hectic but, happy hectic.

There are many things in my life to be happy about and thankful for. I have to keep reminding myself every day.

Happy Easter.